The Difficult Choice

Euthanasia is an unpleasant topic to discuss, but as horse owners we have to face the reality that there will be a time when you will lose a horse, either through natural or an assisted death.

There are people out there who will say they've never lost a horse. I know, as I was one of them. Please believe me when I say, though, that's it's not a matter of "if" but "when." The harsh truth of the matter is that if you are not prepared to face the unpleasant parts of horse ownership, then you probably need to just rent a horse at your local stable once in a while rather than commit to full-on ownership.

Horses are suprisingly fragile animals. They also seem to have a perpetual death wish. These two things are a combination for disaster and also the primary reasons we, as horse owners, need to make sure we have contingency plans in place for the worst-case-scenario.

There is an excellent article from UC Davis regarding the facts about equine euthanasia.

Please take the time to read the above article. As a horse owner, though, I want to discuss the emotional aspect of euthanasia, which people rarely cover. I've witnessed the euthanasia of five horses. Two were laying down, three standing up. Four by injection and one by bullet. Three adults and two foals.

Before going on, there are two very important items I want to stress:

(1) The very hardest part of euthanasia is coming to terms with the decision.

(2) Death is never pretty.

I'll go more into these in a second.

I personally think a lot of horse suffer needlessly because of two very strong emotions: fear and denial. It's difficult to decide to put a horse down when you don't know what is going to happen. It's a scary process, even for someone who is experienced, let alone someone having to go through it for the first time. Putting down a horse that isn't "down" is very intimidating--a thousand-pound creature falling down and dying is a terrifying thought. Denial is an equally strong emotional pull away from euthanasia: hope often overrides the rational part of our brains. We think, if we can just do this or do that, our horse will get better. We trade hope for our better judgement and the horse ends up suffering.

What we have to do is move away from our fear of the unknown and of death and look at the situation and ask ourselves the tough questions. Will the horse get better? What quality of life does the horse currently have? What quality of life will the horse have in the foreseable future? Will the pain the horse has to endure to "recover" be worth the quality of life it will have after treatment? What are the horse's chances of survival? What are its chances of returning to a good quality of life?

Although it sounds harsh, we also must force ourselves to look at the economics of the situation. While many of us love our horses dearly, there are very few of even the wealthiest people out there prepared to spend unlimited amounts on a horse that might never fully recover. Will the cost of treating the horse be worth the benefits (emotional, physical and financial) that will accrue from pursuing treatment versus euthanasia?

If we are unable to keep our horses, euthanasia must also be considered for the ones that are "unwanted." There are very few homes out there that are both willing and prepared enough to accomidate an elderly or other special-needs horse. Euthanasia is certainly a better choice than starvation or suffering other means of "disposal."

One of the things that I keep in mind, when I'm facing this kind of delimma, is something a very wise friend of mine once said to me:

"Sometimes life really isn't better than death."

That right there helps me put my emotions in check and try to think about what the best decision is for the horse. Most of us are ingrained with the idea that we are to preserve life no matter what, but rationally-speaking, we need to consider not only life itself but the quality of that life. If I decide to pursue treatment rather than euthanasia, I want to make sure it's the right thing for the horse, and not just the right thing for me.

Once you decide that euthanasia is the best course of action, you will have to make a few more decisions that will unfortunately test your resolve to pursue euthanasia. This is why I said above that coming to terms with your decision is the hardest part, because in planning for the unpleasant event you will have to revisit your decision several times, usually over the course of several days or even weeks.

First, you will have to decide how you are going to euthanize your horse. While the UC Davis article outlines three means, there are basically only two (blood-letting is to only be used in very extreme circumstances and only when the horse is already unconscious and there are no other means available):

(1) Vet-administered

(2) Bullet

Like many people, I prefer the first as it is safer and easier to deal with on an emotional level. Vets usually go about the process in a clinical manner, and it happens relatively swiftly (although be prepared that the horse often moves for several minutes after euthanasia is complete). The drawbacks are expense and timing. My last vet-administered euthanazia was $100 and I had to wait a week for the vet's appointment.

Euthanasia via bullet should only be performed by a person with the knowledge of how to properly administer the shot and is well-versed in firearms and firearms safety. If not done correctly, this method can lead to an injured and further-suffering horse and/or a injury to the people around the horse. The bullet has to be a large enough caliber to penetrate the skull but not go through it. The horse has to be shot in the correct place so as to result in a swift and painless death. The advantages of this method, though, are cost and it can be done anywhere at anytime, so long as the proper person and firearm is available.

When looking at the emotional aspect of either situation, neither one is any "messier" or harder to take than another. Death is never pretty. It's not peaceful. It's not pleasant. The horse doesn't lay down calmly and take its last breath like a sigh of relief as it passes on. Horses struggle--it's in their nature to grasp onto any remaining life whatsoever and it can be very difficult to watch. What we have to keep in mind, however, is that they don't realize that they'd never really live, had they gone on. They don't understand life and death as we do, so they don't know how to "let go"--they are programmed for survival, so that's what they do, sometimes even after they are clinically deceased. As human beings we know that a life full of pain is really no life at all, so we have to be able to cope with our emotions and realize when we euthanize a horse, that it might not be peaceful, but it is the right thing to do.

The second unpleasant matter of business that you'll have to see to is the disposal of the horse's body. Before considering what you would be most comfortable with, please check your legal options. Many states prohibit burial. Check the Humane Society's website to see the regulations for your state.

After considering your legal options you will have to decide the best means of disposal for you both financially and emotionally. The first horse I lost was to natural death and I thought I could not bear to dispose of her body via renderer, so I rented a backhoe and spent all day long burying her. In the end, I ended up spending more money and by the time I got her properly buried, I realized that it was just a body--her spirit was gone and the part of her I loved was gone and her body didn't mean as much to me as I thought it would have. In other words, I learned that the render is ok for me.

This is a decision, though, that has to be made on an individual basis. In other words, decide what you think will work best for you. It may change over time. It may be a financial or practical decision (for example, I don't mind buring a foal by hand where I live now because the sandy soil is relatively easy to dig a deep grave in, but when I lived in a rocky terrain and euthanized a full grown horse I had a renderer pick her up as it would have been extremely difficult to bury her there).

Once you've decided the method of euthanasia and the means of disposal, if you have time, you might want to spend some time with your horse and do something special to help you remember him or her. Many people save tail hair and there are talented artists out there who can create special momentos to help you remember your equine friend. I like to give my horse a special treat, and ones in pain I will go ahead and up their dosage of pain meds so they can enjoy their last days relatively pain free (and since the negatives of doing so, like increased stomach acid or ulcers aren't going to affect them immediately). I usually brush them a few hours before the vet arrives and let them out to graze, even if it's out in my yard if that's the best grass available (which is a very calming and happy experience for a horse).

It also helps to have a friend with you who is knowledgable about horses and experienced with equine euthanasia. Having someone to support you emotionally when the deed is carried out can be a huge help. Also be sure to prepare what you'll need after the horse has passed--a large tarp to cover the body until it can be disposed of is helpful. I also prefer to keep my dogs inside during the process so that they're not underfoot and potentially get in the way and be harmed, or distracting to the vet.

The greatest gift we can give an animal we dearly care for is a release from that pain, despite causing enormous pain for ourselves in our overwhelming grief. Because we benefit from the love and admiration of these great creatures, we must also bear the burden and responsibility of knowing when it is time to say goodbye and summon the courage to carry through what needs to be done.